EXCEPT when she factors in. Tonight, to be oovooing with you and “meet” her for the first time, sucked. Watching you interact with her… sucked. This is the first time I’ve been upset in days.
The best part is, she’s official with someone else as of today. Knowing your heart is probably broken kills me. Please… please don’t hurt over her. You deserve someone whose going to love you with every piece of them.
We’ll be in different states again in a few days, and I can’t help but start to feel how I felt when we parted for the first time. All of those days of missing you, those aches in my bones that I’ve never experienced before… I physically couldn’t stand missing you. It hurt so much. It just sucks knowing that I spent all that time missing you while you were moving on to someone else. I just… I feel the difference, now. You’re not making the same effort you used to make.
I just want to go back to summer. I want you to ask me to hangout everyday, I want you to want to do every little thing with me again. I want you to miss me after we spend a day apart and I want you to want me the way you did. I just want to go back to when it was perfect, even if I didn’t realize it was.
But I know we can’t. So I need to go back to school and make myself my priority. But… what if it’s just the same? What if all I do is miss you, like before? I don’t think it’ll be to the same extant…. but being away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
College fucked everything up. Being away ruined it. You ruined it. Why did you have to be so fucking afraid?
(Source: falldownseventimes-standup-eight, via dreambelievesparkle)
(Source: obeyjetss, via never-be-ashamed)
I don’t want one of those short, sloppy one-arm hugs from you. I actually want a long, meaningful one; wrap your arms around me and hold me really close to you. Hug me tight and don’t let go. Make me feel secure while I’m in your arms. I love feeling like someone actually cares for once when they give me a nice, perfect hug. Trust me, it will truly make me happy.
Give someone a hug, just for the sake of giving a hug!
And I don’t think you even realize it. Don’t you think I know that it’s over? Don’t you know that it hurts to know that? I didn’t need to hear what you said last night, while you were reading the conversation you had with our friend to me. “The thing from the summer is over and done with,” you said, about me and you. I fucking know, okay? You don’t need to be so heartless.
To you it’s just whatever. But not once did you stop to apologize, not once did you ask how I felt or check to see how I was doing with the whole thing.
It was over and done from the start for you. I thought you cared about me enough as a person to not be so cold- I’m just hurting, I wish you’d be a little more sympathetic.
Not ONCE did you take the time out to ask me how long my feelings existed; how serious it was for me. I guess you didn’t realize that I had over a years worth of feelings inside of me that wanted to be set free after you told me how you felt. Feelings that needed to feel you feel the same. Feelings that caused me to need you. And I guess you don’t realize that although it was ‘whatever’ for you, this broke my heart.
I just need to get a grip. We need to go back to school, not talk and then once I’m okay go back to our friendship. Otherwise, I’m going to start hating you.
But I know it’s going to come to the point where I have to tell you how much you hurt me. I’m going fucking crazy.
(Source: this--too--shall--pass, via never-be-ashamed)
(Source: eckstasy, via kaitlyn-ashlee)
(via kaitlyn-ashlee)
(Source: fuckmenumb, via killthelightts)
18. College bound.
I suppose my posts will tell you more about me than this little "description" section ever could. But I guess that's the point of Tumblr, isn't it? After all, this really is a secondhand look into my heart.
Note: I'd say I'm super friendly and love meeting new people, so don't hesitate in messaging me! (And I will be adding a picture of myself shortly, I'm not really a heart bursting out of a piece of paper)
